1. |
Unable
02:58
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You may be young
But I`d be foolish to think
You didn`t know what pain meant
A bigger soul might take on more
Than your small one can
Unable to see what pains the others
Circling our own tiny universe
Unable to see what breaks the others
But our worlds are so different
Do you think you`re no like the others?
Trying to be unique
Or do you even think you`re better than the others?
Your achievements will become dust
Unable to see what pains the others
Circling our own tiny universe
Unable to see what breaks the others
Our worlds are so different
Unable to see what pains the others
Circling our own tiny universe
Unable to see what breaks the others
But our worlds ARE NOT so different
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2. |
Your Fortress
04:53
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I admire how strong you are
How you fend for yourself
I admire how good you seem to function on your own
You know where you want to go and how to get there
But does it get lonely fighting on your own?
I would love to peak inside your fortress!
So tell me what makes you weak?
What makes you crawl on your knees?
What makes you want to run away as fast as you dare?
And what makes you furious or lose all control?
What makes you build up all these walls that block the view?
It must have been quite the journey to get where you are now
Cause easy times don`t make interesting people
I`d love to see all of those scars
But does it get lonely fighting on your own?
I would love to peak inside your fortress!
So tell me what makes you weak?
What makes you crawl on your knees?
What makes you want to run away as fast as you dare?
And what makes you furious or lose all control?
What makes you build up all these walls that block the view?
Your walls are so high
My arms are tired from the climb
Anxiety made me weak...
I cut myself when I`m on my knees.
News of war make me want run and never stop.
Homophobia makes me furious!
Attack my friends I`ll lose my cool!
But I know you worked hard to build these walls
I know you worked hard to build these walls
But I also worked hard to build these walls
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3. |
To Infinity
03:21
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I`ll go with you to infinity and beyond
Stay by your side even as we burn
I`ll show you how fast we run together
I won`t let go!
As long as you see me for who I am
You see me for who I am
You see me for who I am
You see me
You make me want to become a better version of myself
That I can never achieve without having to change
In a way that only flatters you
If only you could see me for who I am
You see me for who I am
You see me for who I am
You see me
And I know it`s not a good time falling for you
You`re spinning in all directions
I`m just one light in your world of stars
But I´ll stay `till I shine just as bright
If only you could see me
If only you could see me
If only you could see me
If only you could see me
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4. |
Winter Waltz
03:28
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Do you remember
Everytime silence
Frantically trying to fill this void
A million things to say
A million more to ask
Not a single word
Mind blank
But now we`ll never know
I missed our moment
You let me go
And now we`ll never know
I`ll always remember our dance through the winter
I knew exactly what I want to tell you
But when I´m with you I slip
Patience, perseverance or endless regret
fearing the fear
paralyzed
But now we`ll never know
I missed our moment
You let me go
And now we`ll never know
I`ll always remember our dance through the winter
I want you
I need your body and soul
I want you
I need your body and soul
To keep me from burning
I`ll face my fears or let you go
I`ll face my fears and let you go
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5. |
Pathetic
04:02
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I often say "thats not me it`s just my deamons talking"
Voices stuck in my head
But in the end, who am I kidding?
It´s a part of me that I just can`t tame
This repetition is driving me crazy
What they`re saying is not what I feel
This insecurity is driving me crazy
This is not what I want to feel
You hold so much power
I gave it to you willingly
You hold so much power
It`s feeding my deamons!
Isn`t it kind of pathetic
That not being part of your life
Is such a big part of my life?!
It`s not that I can`t trust
It`s just that being vulnerable
Is an open door inviding them in
Of cause I want love but I`m not strong enough
To fight them without hurting you
You hold so much power
It´s feeding my deamons endlessly
You hold so much power
It`s feeding my deamons!
Isn`t it kind of pathetic
That not being part of your life
Is such a big part of my life?!
Isn`t it kind of pathetic
That not being part of your life
Is such a big part of my life?
You would need strength for the both of us
You would need to be strong for the both of us
Isn`t it kind of pathetic
That part of your life
Will always be part of my life?!
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6. |
Forget Me Not
05:02
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Saying the words should be easy
So why are they wrong?
You thought you had something when they were here
But now they`re gone
You could have said something
But now you`re unsure
So now you imagine what could have been
Could have been
Could have
Will never be true
Forget me not
Seeing your life happening without being a part
Trying to keep appearances
Masking your flaws
While struggeling to hold on to your bleeding heart
Losing what you never had
That shouldn`t be hard
You think?!
Seeing scenarios fade that you`d love to be true
Watching 'the one' happy while you are not hurts twice
Once for the thing that you had and once for what you lost
Forget me not
Seeing your life happening without being a part
Trying to keep appearances
Masking your flaws
While struggeling to hold on to your bleeding heart
Are you still not enough
To line up to the picture of them in you mind?
Are you still not enough
For your brain to decide that you`re worthy of what you might find?
So instead it decides on selftorture, on what ifs and lies...
Forget me not
Seeing your life happening without being a part
Trying to keep appearances
Masking your flaws
While struggeling to hold on to your bleeding heart
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7. |
Supernova
04:20
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I don`t allow myself big artistic dreams
Cause deep down I believe I don`t deserve them
But I`m burning up inside
It´s either nothing or everything at once
You know the calm me
But do you dare to see it all?
I want more!
I want every emotion turned up to the limit
Violent waves of rage
Give me everything you got!
I can`t control this supernova
Taking over everything I am!
I see you
Your walls are building up
Shielding you by keeping me out
I know I`m too much
Do you think you are the only one overwhelmed?!
So don`t you dare judge me!
You can`t imagine how long these wounds need to heal...
I want more!
I want every emotion turned up to the limit
Violent waves of rage
Give me everything you got!
I can`t control this supernova
Taking over
I want more!
I want every emotion turned up to the limit
Shots of painful joy
Hold me with everything you got!
I can`t explain this supernova
Taking over everything I am!
It`s gonna bury me
Will you stay with me until I breathe again?
Will you hold me even if it`s going to burn?
Will you stay with me until I can breathe again?
*epic choir*
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8. |
Simon
03:18
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There`s a deamon sitting on my neck
Whispering in my ear constantly
I should be happy as I am
Shouldn`t that be easy
Why isn`t this easy?
Get off of me I don`t want you in my life
Get off of me I don`t need you in my life
So get off of me I don`t want you in my life
Get off of me you`re slowly taking my life
Over
I wish I could push you off
But the happier I get the stronger gets your grip on my neck
And how could I conquer you?
You`re the master of my fears
And I`m your puppet!
Get off of me I don`t want you in my life
Get off of me I don`t need you in my life
So get off of me I don`t want you in my life
Get off of me you`re slowly taking my life
But I`ll fight you
Fight you
I`ll never stop fighting you
And I`ll fight you
Fight you
I`ll never stop fighting you
And I will fight you
Fight you
I`ll never stop fighting you
And I`ll fight you
Fight you
So maybe someday I`ll overpower you
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9. |
Pluto
04:30
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I caught myself thinking by now I should have killed my inner child
Gotten numb for tiny wonders, validation by others
I caught myself thinking by now I should have figured shit out
Setteled down, build a life, started work, bought a car
That adult shit everyone wants?!
But when no one sees I mourn your dead pets I never knew
Cry for the lovers who are dust for a hundred years now
And I´ll be bitter about the tiny rock in the sky
Even though they shouldn`t matter
I caught myself thinking by now I should be further in life
Have a better grip on reality, a job and a husband or wife
I wish I´d stop thinking what I accomplished wasn`t enough
The child I nourish is me
The one I`m trying to love is me
But when no one sees I mourn your dead pets I never knew
Cry for the jews who are dust for a hundred years now
And I´ll be bitter about the tiny rock in the sky
Because to me they still matter
So I will reread all the books for a younger me
Get recklessly excited by dinosaur bones
If you think I´m being silly
I know
I will still continue to do so
I will still continue to do so
And I will love boldly the things that excite me
I won`t settle down for something easy
And I will continue to love deeply
Your dead pets, the believers, the lovers
And the sky rock I still secrets think is a planet
I still secretly think is a planet
I still secretly wish was a planet
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10. |
Meditation
03:06
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Breathe in
Breathe out
Clear your mind now
Meditation`s good
For focused minds
Do the dishes
Buy bread
Take out the trash
Are there still clean clothes
Don`t forget the cats
Shower brush your teeth then
Clean the toilet
There are spots on the mirror
Now worry about them
Money money money money
There`s not enough money
Money money money money
Worry about money
Money money money money
I need more money
Money money money money
Now worry about money
Have I written my friends
have they forgotten me jet
Forgot their birthday again
And I don`t have a present
I should call my greatmama
But I can`t pic up my phone
Can feel their dissapointment
Righteously so
You`d be better off dead
My socks keep twitching
My arms are itching
Those jeans too tight
My shoes not right
Who made the earth so bright
Can`t see through the light
There`s all this white
Need to close my eyes
Everything is so loud
I embarrassed myself
Had to ask three times
Still couldn`t understand
My dreams too many
Motivation is lacking
I`m overwhelmed
PLEASE LET ME REST!
Just let me rest
Just let me rest
Just let me rest
Just let me rest
You know it`s hard to concentrate
When they`re all screaming at me
You know I`d like to concentrate
But they keep screaming at me
You know I`d like some inner peace
I guess that`s just not for me
I`d like to follow all my dreams
I guess that`s just not for me...
Breathe in
Breathe out
Clear your mind now
Meditation`s torture
For troubled minds
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11. |
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The clock is ticking
Tick tock (tick tock)
Crows in the distance
Shadows in the haze
Fingers crawling up your spine
Stealing the air from your lungs
Unable to breathe
Unable to move
But nothing compares
To what`s really going on
History repeating every cruelty
We don`t deserve claiming superiority
Do we deserve even one more day?
How are we "so much better"
When all we do is worse?
How can we claim we`re "so much better"?
The time is running fast
But nothing compares
To what`s really going on
History repeating every cruelty
We don`t deserve superiority
We don`t deserve even one more day!
The clock is ticking
Tick tock (tick tock)
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ParalyzedWave Leipzig, Germany
My name is Toni and my lyrics and melodies were never meant for other ears but for processing emotions needed to be
felt.
But music wants to be shared so here we are.
I invite you to accompany me on this vojage from the pits of despair to the valley of anger and back over the sea of fear, to face up to the emotions we don't often give room to.
... more
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